In a leaked email between Boris Johnson and the PM, Johnson highlights the benefits of legalising the world’s oldest profession ‘Giving tourists access to more ‘attractions’ than just the Olympics will teach those f**kers in Russia they can’t take the World Cup from us and expect us not to go down without a fight’
Boris continued to outline plans to have British women who are deemed to be in the top 10% of attractiveness perform a form of ‘national service’ by being conscripted into prostitution. Suggesting that they would not only receive a fair wage, but also tax breaks for the following year.
An aide close to the PM has informed us that the PM was said to be thrilled with the plan adding ‘This is f**king brilliant, it'll go down a storm. Take that Brown! I am going to make a name for myself like Bush did!’. The PM was spotted excitedly flicking through fashion magazines and social media sites, presumably ranking the females of the UK.
It has been suggested that this change in law will be pushed through Parliament just after Christmas as ‘People will be hung over and it will seem like a good idea’.
According to our source, Nick Clegg seemed excited by the prospect until he realised that he wasn’t being asked to be a prostitute, the PM telling him ‘You are already being f**ked for cash mate!’
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