A preemptive letter to Orange

Orange Customer Services

PO Box 10

Patchway

Bristol

BS32 4BQ

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to cancel my contact, my details are as follows:

 Mobile Number –                   07*** ******

Account Number -                   ********

I have no need for this contract and as you can see from my usage have not used it in well over a year. I trust that you will be swift to act upon this cancelation as I have always paid my bills promptly; therefore I think it would be good form to refrain from doing any of the following:

A)    Making me wait several months (read letter, log on, press cancel)

B)    Tell me this isn’t the correct address for cancelations (It’s the same company, please be good enough to forward it to whom it may concern)

C)    Deny all knowledge of this letter until heavily questioned and then inform me a dog ate it.

Also, why has it been so hard to find this address? I don’t really feel like sitting on the phone for ages trying to find the address that should really be publicly available! I am sure that you (as a company) are aware that people want to change suppliers and from time to time people will cancel. Making this harder is a sure fire way to prevent that customer from returning and making them say to their friends ‘Orange messed me around for ages when I wanted to cancel, avoid them at all costs’.

Your tactic is similar to McDonald's making all of their doors one way; allowing fatties to come in but not leave, then putting a cash machine in with them to ensure that maximise income. This tactic, however, would prevent others from wanting to go in, and, if ever one of the fatties escaped from there they would surely not want to go back. This would lead, eventually, to McDonald's demise as their stores would be full of poor fat people who would, in time, start to eat each other.

So, with this letter, please cancel my contract and please treat your customers with a degree of intelligence and, perhaps, remember that people should be free to make their own decisions, making that as difficult as possible just makes you look like a child. A 7 year old who shouts ‘It’s my ball we play my game’ then storms off and takes his ball with him when things don’t go his way.

Best wishes,

Mr AJ Saxon